Stop Faking Your "I'm Good"

By Sabriya Dobbins, Founder of Project Passport

How many times do you walk down the halls of your office and people say that robotic phrase: “Hi, how are you?” And then you respond with the standard, “I am good, and you?” This small exchange of words is arguably the most toxic conversation there is. Do we really want to know if the other person is okay? If the person is not okay, are we really ready to deal with it?

As people, especially in the business world, we are taught to hold it together despite whatever is going on inside. When everything comes to a head and a person commits suicide, everyone acts like they had no idea and they absolutely cannot believe he or she would take their own life. But let’s be honest here. We do not give each other the opportunity to know what is going on inside. We lie about how we feel to save ourselves from inconveniencing the other person. And the person who is asking how we are doing, often feels more comfortable hearing the “I’m good.”

Why are we so afraid of the truth? Due to our fears of reality, we have created and alternative, passive universe just to get by even when we are broken and dying inside. One of the absolute worse things one can do when they are hurting is to keep it in. Especially when facing suicidal thoughts, anxiety, depression, loneliness and all of the other things that hurt us and eat away at our spirits. These things continue to isolate us more especially the tighter we keep it bottled inside. They translate into addictions, self-harming behaviors, and feelings of apathy towards life.

However, let’s make one thing clear: Everyone does not get to know your inner dealings. Not everyone has gained that right. So the rude co-worker or the jealous friend, does not have the right to know what you are facing. But people that can be sources of support and understanding like a good boss, friend, or family member need to hear the truth from you. You are doing yourself and the other person an injustice by giving them the fake response, “I am good.”

And to those asking how others are doing, make sure you really mean it. Make sure you really want to know. You could be the lifeline that someone needed all along. You could be the saving grace that they needed right before it could have been too late. Be genuine in your communication and provide an open dialogue opportunity.

How are you today? We truly want to know.

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Project Passport is a mental empowerment retreat and event company created to help women connect with one another and gain the tools to improve their lives in the best way possible. Each retreat experience has a unique theme with carefully designed activities to help participants grow and experience transformation. We are making mental wellness the norm, one retreat at a time. Learn more at project-passport.com.