I Am the CEO of a Mental Wellness Retreat Company But I Still Struggle Too.

A special opinion piece by Sabriya Dobbins, Founder of Project Passport

2020 was insane but I am struggling alongside you in 2021, too.

You are not alone.

As I stare at the computer screen dazed and ill-inspired, I squeeze out, at the very least, what I am feeling in this moment. I am tired because of the painful racial injustice that just gets worse. I am frustrated that voices who need help are being silenced. I am overwhelmed as I worry about the health of my family and friends. A deadly pandemic rages that keeps me consuming news sometimes longer than I should. I struggle indoors as my heart lives for travel and getting outside of my box of the world. I deal with my own insecurities as I try to manage work and a personal life. I shake my head as it seems like my home nation, America, really keeps unraveling.

But in the midst of all that, I know that my work has only just begun. I know that I cannot afford to stop and give up on those who need this the most. But I also own that I am not always okay in the process along the way. However, I realize that my being okay is greatly improved in the moments that I help those I serve to become “more okay.” But that is not always the case. There are also moments where I have to step back and regroup in order to do the real work.

I am here to lead you to peace as your peace helps resolve my pain too. As the leader of a wellness retreat company, I experience the varying levels of guilt constantly. How am I supposed to help others heal when I am dealing with emotional turmoil too? Who the heck do I think I am? I am supposed to have it all figured out so I can help people fix their situations, right?

I am realizing now, more than ever, that it is not about putting up the perfect facade for the world in order to look like I have it all figured out so people will trust me. It is about being more real than ever in a world where people are constantly faking it. It is about giving people like you a safe space to say: “This life crap is not working for me and I am not okay.” We have created a world where “I’m fine” is the default go-to and “I am not okay” are words that are beginning to come a little too late.

As someone who does not always feel motivated everyday even though I know my purpose is to change the world for the better, I am learning to make peace with my truth. I am still human before anything else. Showing myself empathy is showing the world empathy. Being able to feel what those I serve feel too is what makes me a better leader. I am not removed from the depression, the anxiety, the fear and the pain. It is mine and it is yours, too.

I choose to dig light from the depths of my soul just in case you cannot find it. I choose to grab your hand even if mine is shaking. I choose to encourage you with the words that I must also give myself too.

I came into 2021 with one of the biggest decisions I have ever made. I decided to no longer set organized goals with every detail and number amount intact. The refuse to repeat the despair and frustration I felt for missing the mark on the tons of goals I set last year. Thanks to the wise words of a friend, I have chosen to make my goals a canvas. A picture that I am painting each day with non-concrete strategy. I have a vision and a big picture on what I will do for the world of mental health and wellness, but I am going in with an open heart remembering that there are tons of routes to the same outcome.

I may trip and fall or even scrape my knees. I may have days where I shutdown and others where I am inspired like no other. Nonetheless, my goal to make a greater difference will always stand. No matter what it takes, I will get there. You need me and I need you.

At the end of the day, the future waits for no one. It comes full force with whatever it decides to carry. So, if it’s going to be a hurricane, best believe you are not alone to face it. I am in the hurricane too. It is the same storm that we face even thousands of miles apart. We’ve got this. Hand in hand. Arm in arm. Heart to heart.

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Project Passport is a proactive mental wellness company that aims to bring mental wellness retreats, workshops and other services to company teams. We also help women create joy in their lives every step of the way. To learn more about our company retreats and services, click here. To learn more about our tribe community for women, click here. Our travel retreats will resume in the future as the world reopens.