Living Life Forreal: Do it Scared, Do it Alone

A Personal Piece Written by Hannah Whitesides (Zaladonis)

“I will be in Tampa, Florida on October 10th and you can grab your tickets using the link in the description below,” I hear through my headphones while listening to one of my favorite podcasts, The Lev Fer Show hosted by an amazing up-and-coming comedian, Lev Fer. When I heard that my fingers reacted faster than my brain as they immediately clicked on the link and didn’t stop until the “confirm payment” button appeared. By that point, my brain had caught up.

What am I doing? 

Tampa is two and a half hours away….

Who would watch my dog?

I don’t have money for an Airbnb….

I don’t have anyone to go with… my only friend in Florida is Elizabeth and she has a three-year-old daughter to take care of.

*Click* the browser page turned black, and I put my phone back in my pocket.

Over the next several days, my mind would not let me forget about that show. The only thing that seemed more impossible than going, was not going. I had a choice to make. Stay home and spend another night alone in my apartment, watching reruns of “How I Met Your Mother,” knowing that Lev Fer is performing his comedy set in Tampa, and I’m missing it. Or, go by myself and have the opportunity to see Lev do his comedy set. How could I not go? Was I seriously going to miss out on this opportunity just because I was scared to go alone? Heck no. So, I put on my big-girl pants and clicked confirm payment.

As the weekend approached, I made sure everything was in order. My neighbor agreed to watch my dog, I finished all of my work assignments early, packed an overnight bag just incase I was too tired to drive home, put gas in my car, and I was off to Tampa! Two and a half hours later I pulled into the parking lot of Side Splitters Comedy Club with about 20 minutes to spare. I took the time to touch up my makeup and work through the jitters of attending this event solo. 

Photo by Bogomil Mihaylov on Unsplash.com

I make my way through the doors and give my name to the man at the front counter. When I received the you’re-good-to-go-head nod I proceeded into the lobby area. I looked around nervously as the doors to the comedy room weren’t open yet. There were a few couples on a date, a couple of girls who came as friends, several guys, and then there was me. Standing there with no one to talk to my anxiety hit me, my breath started to quicken and my hands became clammy. Luckily, I only had to stand there for about 5 minutes until the doors to the comedy space opened and I let out a quiet sigh of relief…. Until….. I saw the way the room was set up. 

I assumed that we would be seated in an auditorium-like row of chairs. This was not the case and I couldn’t have been more uncomfortable to be alone. When the doors to this room opened, there was a small one-step-up stage and about 10 square tables with four chairs each. I wasn’t just alone, I was really alone. Unquestionably alone. No, if’s, and’s, or but’s about it alone, and boy did I feel it. I scoped the room out before choosing my very lonely table of four, sat down, and ordered a heavy glass of red wine. The show was about to start. 

There were three opening comedians before the headliner, Lev. As I snickered between sips of wine I began to feel my anxiety subside now that the lights had dimmed and the whispers had stopped. The first comedian did their set, the second one did their set, and there was only one more to go before Lev came out and I was stoked. As I was listening to the third comedian flow through his set, he pauses, looks directly at me, and announces the question everyone has been wondering, 

“Wait, are you alone?” 

Completely caught off guard, stunned, and embarrassed, I look around and back at him and then respond with a simple,“Yeah.” Now here’s the part of the story that you should remember if you’re going to go to an intimate comedy club by yourself. What I failed to realize is that comedians can be hecklers too and they will use the fact that you’re alone as the brunt of a joke.

Here’s how the following conversation between the two of us went: 

“Wait, are you alone?”

“Yeah.” 

“What, did he not show up?”

“No, I came here alone.” 

At this point, everyone in the audience turned toward me and proceeded to clap like they were congratulating me on my courage. 

The comedian continued his torment for a few more minutes by mocking my inability to find someone to go with and informing me that the headliner was single. 

“Another glass of wine, please,” I eagerly pleaded to the server.

Photo by Geronimo Giqueaux on Unsplash.com

The rest of the show went great! The blood in my face finally drained and I eventually no longer wanted to hide under the table. Lev’s comedy set was everything I thought it was going to be: relatable, witty, and obviously hilarious. After the show, Lev entered the lobby to meet and take photos with everyone. I stayed back and waited my turn. Most people had left by the time I got to speak to Lev. We sat down at the bar, grabbed a drink, and started chatting. We talked about what it was like for both of us growing up in different parts of North Carolina, how he transitioned to New York, the ins and outs of comedy, and of course, his podcast. After a few hours, the bar was shutting down, and the night was ending. I stayed in Tampa that night and drove home in the morning with a huge grin on my face, almost in disbelief that I actually did that. A few days later, Lev released a new episode of his podcast and he gave me a shoutout, saying how it was awesome hanging out after the show!

That night was one of the best experiences of my life, and I can’t fathom that I almost missed out on it because I was afraid to do it alone. That’s the thing we have to realize. If we wait for someone to go with us, whether it be to a comedy show, an art class, or even on a vacation, we’ll never go.

Sure, there were some bumps in the road, considering I was called out and clapped for, but it actually makes for a really funny story that wouldn’t have happened if I was with someone. What also wouldn’t have happened if I was with someone is being able to talk to Lev for as long as I did and really get to know him. I was on my own time.

The only regret I have is not taking any photos. The whole experience made me realize that there is so much value in learning to do things alone. Once you get over the idea that it’s “embarrassing,” you'll find yourself doing, seeing, and experiencing all the treasures that life has given you. My solo journey has taken me to a comedy show, a Game of Thrones Tour, a gelato festival, a concert, and a museum, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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Thank you to Side Splitters Comedy Club and Lev Fer for an amazing experience!