The Moment You Stop Making Excuses is When Your Life Will Change Forever
by Sabriya Dobbins, Founder of Project Passport
Every single week I found a reason to hold back. Every single day I found a reason to stay in a career that was not for me. Every single second I found a reason to stay in the comfort of what I knew.
As people we are obsessed with self-preservation, even if it is at the detriment of our souls. We are so worried about maintaining the status quo and keeping things in perfect order that we are not willing to risk messy disarray for a better future. As my good friend and colleague Hannah says, “Every great change is preceded by chaos.”
Photo by Ricardo Viana on Unsplash
You have to understand this: “Messes make madness, but madness makes masterpieces.”
How often do you find yourself day-dreaming about the life you have always wanted but your thoughts are immediately followed with all of the reasons why it won’t work out? You are…
Too old to start a business
Too dumb to learn something new
Too broken to deserve love
Too young to be a coach or mentor
Too short to be a model
Too nerdy to be an icon
Too poor to take that dream vacation
This list goes on and on and then you continuously create confirmation of these excuses by actually functioning in a way that encourages your fears and bad behaviors! We as people literally self-sabotage and we create more distance between ourselves and our dreams. Then, one day we wake up and wonder how did everything we’ve ever wanted…miss us. We feel empty and lost seeing other people on social media living our dreams. We are reminded within how much of a failure we are and then we repeat the cycle over and over again until one day, we are dead. It sounds morbid but it is true!
We have to break the excuse feedback loop, but the process just is not pretty. No matter how you flip it, twist it, shake it, swing it, there is no way that you will be able to change your narrative without some growing pains.
For example, when I left my career to launch Project Passport, I did not have the most financial comfort. I was terrified and I felt like a lost kid in the mall. I did not have a ton of expertise in my field and I did not even know if I had the skills to execute what I wanted to provide. I felt like I might not be good enough to help other people with their lives. Who did I think I was? Everything in me wanted to turn back and return to what I knew. I believed there would be no way I could pull this off. What did I know?
I cried. I stayed up late. I cut back financially to save money. I reflected. I realized that my life experiences and my determined spirit was enough. I was qualified because I chose to be. In response to creating this powerful belief, I actually did the work to gain the expertise and knowledge in the wellness space to feel even more confident. Had I leaned on the idea that I was not qualified, I would have executed behaviors focused on continuing to honor my negative beliefs. I would not have studied as hard through online certifications. I would not have enrolled in my Masters. I would have sulked, felt like an imposter, and given up. I made my budget work even if it meant I did not enjoy the luxuries I once knew because I believed in the bigger picture.
Sabriya Dobbins in her rawest form of life.
I chose to put my excuses in their rightful place—the trashcan.
The moment I let go of my own mind’s limitations, my world began to open up. Fast forward about 3 years later and here I am changing the world with a wonderful team, making mental wellness a proactive and hands on journey for all. I refuse to look back. This is my dream come true all because I decided to make life say “YES” rather than become a victim to my own “NOs.”
Pull out the old journals. Find the old writings and videos of you sharing your dreams. Ask your heart what you want. Remember what makes you come alive.
For all of the things you have always wanted; for all of the times you have told yourself no, I want you to go back to the drawing board and find all of the “yeses.” They are there! I want you to locate those excuses and go put them where they belong, out of sight and out of mind. Now I am not saying some excuses are not valid as they may very well be. But for every excuse that could ring true, there is a solution that rings even louder. As long as you are breathing, the opportunity to make it work remains.
Yes, you will hit bumps along the way. Yes, you will get tired. Yes, things will go wrong. Yes, it takes time to get there, wherever you want to be. But you get to create your own YES loop. You can create your own feedback cycle of hope in this life. You can create a world you love. But it all starts with YOU right now from living the life of your dreams.
What excuses are stopping you?
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Project Passport is a proactive mental wellness company that aims to bring mental wellness retreats, workshops and other services to company teams and individuals. Our travel retreats will resume in the future as the world reopens.