The Moment I Realized I Had Become a "Chameleon Sellout"

A narrative blog by Sabriya Dobbins, Founder of Project Passport

“Yeah, you were basically a chameleon.”

My fiancé looked at me square in the eye smirking as he said those words. He was right and I knew it. I was relieved to put a name to it, but I also felt ashamed and angry at myself. I felt ashamed that I had the audacity to change my values for others. Or to withhold them at the detriment of my happiness in order to appease people. He was telling me his thoughts as I cried about how I felt like I got lost in everything and I was forgetting what I stood for.

I was a sellout. A chameleon sellout.

For years, I walked a walk that helped other people feel comfortable even when it made me feel small. If someone said they believed that the world should be pink, then I was like, “Yeah you are right…I can see pink being perfect!” Knowing good and well deep down, that was not what I believed. But what do I know? This person’s beliefs were more important than my own. I was lost in the shadows of pleasing other people when the only person I was truly letting down was myself.

I cannot just teach people how to figure out their values. I realize that I need to help people learn more on how to stick to their values despite what the world suggests around them. I mean stick to them not only in personal stuff but in business, relationships, all of it. Even when it is hard. Even when it means everyone won’t love you. Especially my fellow women—I know it is hard for us.

Project Passport was going down a track that was creating a “YES Monster” and her name was Sabriya. I wanted the company to fill the void and support so many types of people and companies but then we began to lose the core of why we started all along. The silence of coronavirus, stay-at-home days helped me see this. It was the first time in a while that I took a look at who was becoming since launching this beautiful brand.

 What is a chameleon?

She or he is someone who morphs to fit the needs and value base of everyone around them while abandoning their own; just as a real chameleon morphs to fit into its environment. This chameleon doesn’t think about the sheer impact that it has on their own mental wellbeing. They don’t have regard for the isolation that they will feel when all is said and done.

I will no longer be that person. I believe in the core value of empathy but I also believe in boundaries. Everything and everyone is not my space and I am here to serve in my own unique lane that I have created. You are here to serve from your own unique base of values where you will make a beautiful impact in the world.

YOU ARE YOUR OWN PERSON and you have a right to stand for what you believe! Cheers to those who will shed their chameleon skins too!

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Project Passport is a proactive mental wellness company that aims to bring mental wellness retreats, workshops and other services to company teams. We also help women create joy in their lives every step of the way. To learn more about our company retreats and services, click here. To learn more about our tribe community for women, click here. Our travel retreats will resume in the future as the world reopens.