Interview of Mark Bartel by Sabriya Dobbins, Founder of Project Passport

Sometimes a friend of a friend of a friend can change your life. This is what happened to Mark Bartel when he enrolled at Duke University.

While attending Duke University, Mark was all about connecting with other people, especially those who were not like him. Growing up in Canada with German roots, Mark has always been drawn to different cultures. Mark met a girl named Aparna from Columbia University when she was visiting an old friend at Duke. The two formed a friendship, and soon they spent much time in communication. Fast forward to November. Being an Indian international student, and with the holidays approaching, Aparna had nowhere to go for Thanksgiving. Mark asked his family if they wouldn’t mind housing her for the week of Thanksgiving and they agreed!

Grateful of his kindness and welcome heart, Aparna’s family invited Mark to visit them in New Delhi, India to host him in their home the following summer. Before he knew it, he was landing in India’s capital and about to take on the adventure of a lifetime. Upon arrival, he realized that he was in the midst of one of the country’s traditional yearly festivals called Navratri. Among many other things, he witnesses his first indoor living room fire as part of the tradition.

One thing about India that really mesmerized Mark was the sense of chaos. To him, things seldom felt in order but everyone else had created this to be their normal.

“I got used to a way of life that had less of the security that we cherish here in the West. It was almost a sense of relief. It showed me that many of the challenges we deal with in the U.S. are more insignificant than we realize and have a much greater impact on our outlooks than we realize.”

 Mark remembers the peculiar concept of parts of the city being higher tech and “westernized” with others looking very third world. It was like stepping in and out of the past and future. He spent so much time being uncomfortable that it became his new norm; he became comfortable with the unknown.

 When asked about his struggles while traveling, he responded:

“I hated that I was monolingual. Aparna and her family would go back and forth between English and Hindi. Meanwhile, I had a forced ignorance that I could do nothing about. I did not have the ability to influence the conversation, instead having to tentatively ask “What did you say?” However, The few Hindi phrases I did learn filled the family with glee whenever I said them, even if they were horrendously out of context. Matter of fact, the fact that they were out of context made them laugh even more. I would often ask them if I could have “chai tea” in my thickest Indian accent. Now “Chai” in India means tea, so I was basically asking for “tea tea”. The family teased me and we had so much fun with it that they eventually started asking me on their own if I wanted more “chai tea” with breakfast. This experience confirmed one of my theories in life - one of the most empathetic things you can do for another is learn their language.”

Not only did he wrestle with the language barrier, but his experience impacted his mental health too. He describes it as a gained “mental resilience.” He realized that through this trip, he could handle more than he thought he could.

He recounted a fearful incident on a train ride when a drunk man almost picked a fight with him while speaking to him in Hindi.  He remembers his heart racing, the adrenaline surge, and the fear of what could happen next if he defended himself. Aparna was there to help diffuse the situation (in Hindi), but Mark was very apprehensive about traveling alone after that. A few days later, this fear was again tested.

Another friend on the other side of the city invited him over for a day trip to surrounding villages and Mark had to travel alone across the city to get there. He described the trip there as “the most terrifying part of the trip” because he had no knowledge of the language and limited cell phone coverage. He fortunately found his friend. After a dinner of street kabobs, the two of them took the most exhilarating ride of Mark’s trip on a motorcycle through the heart of New Delhi. By the time he returned to Aparna’s the next day, the near-crippling fear he had felt just a few days before felt like a distant memory.

 When looking back on his travels to places like Dubai, India, Singapore and other parts of the world, he finds that one theme runs strong: 

“My perceptions of my life, my sense of empathy, and my curiosity have been shaped from seeing the world. At this point, befriending people with vastly different backgrounds has become such an integral part of my life that I do not know what the state of my mental health, career, and life would be if I had adopted a different mindset in college.

Now working as a Product Analyst with an IT company, Mark takes these beliefs and experiences everywhere he goes. He states,

“Befriend people completely different from you. And I don’t mean just say hi, call them acquaintances, and go about your day. I mean really get to know them. Share your secrets with them. Swap your life stories. Travel with them, even if it’s just a quick road trip. It’s scary to be vulnerable to anyone, let alone to someone completely different from you. But taking such impactful risks can often yield to the most impactful rewards.”

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Project Passport is a proactive mental wellness company that aims to bring mental wellness retreats, workshops and other services to company teams. We also help women create joy in their lives every step of the way. To learn more about our company retreats and services, click here. To learn more about our tribe community for women, click here. Our travel retreats will resume in the future as the world reopens.