The Year of the Hummingbird Series: July

Sabriya Charles, Founder, and Life Discovery Expert

Of course, I am late! Embarrassed and late. 

I park horribly in a parking spot as I am on the wrong side of the lane as I pull in. I barely notice the cars going by and hurry across the road into the studio that I had finally been able to find in the plaza. I walk in nervously. After quickly babbling my explanation for being late for a 30-minute class and convincing the staff lady that I was okay missing the first few minutes, I was off to the races.

I am relieved that my grip socks had come in quickly on an overnight order from Amazon. I have my cozy pink grip socks on! Everything is in my locker now, and off I rush to the studio floor. The lady with the microphone points me to some sort of contraption thing. In an effort to catch up, I look at the lady next to me and I adjust my body to mimic hers. I try to make contact and smile, yet she does not look at me.

What a start to this class…should I be here?

I decide that she is either awkward or I am reminded of the fancy area that I am in on this side of town. Maybe she is tired. Either way, right now, I don’t read too much into it. I don’t care. I turn inward and focus on myself. I get lost in the instructor on the microphone directing us to do more moves. I am determined to fit in like I had been there the entire time. She corrects my posture once at the start, but after that, I am laser-focused, following her every instruction. 

It began to get progressively hard. Holding our bodies up and keeping our muscles stable. I feel the shaking of my body as I work to hold a really tough position. Ropes on our feet as we pull up and down. Ropes in our hands as we pull back in forth. I wish I could legit explain Pilates, but it is a series of so many types of movements and experiences that I simply have no words for it. I just know I have a few really fit friends who did it, and I had always been curious about it.

I focused on my body as the session got increasingly difficult. I focused on my breath. I reminded myself over and over: “Sabriya, you are capable of this.” Most times, at home, when things get too hard in a workout, it is easy for me to quit and lose form. In this studio, women of all body types are there, giving it their all with the instructor’s watchful eye, and accountability as well. I was determined not to give up.

There is something beautiful that happens when we add accountability layers outside of ourselves. 

When I finally was able to sit up and really look at the women around me, I had a pang of insecurity hit me. I had always been petite and slim growing up naturally. I played sports, and that helped me maintain it in high school. College kept me fit as well with all of the walking. After college is when it got so hard to take care of my body. I never thought I would look at pictures of myself and want to crop so much of myself! I am not wanting to go back to my high school body, but I want to get to a point where I can feel more content again about my body.

I looked at a few of the women who were super petite and fit, even muscular. 

Sabriya, focus on YOU. 

I needed to remind myself what was a priority at that moment. Me. Focusing on what I could do and what my body was capable of.

It is vulnerable doing things that you know nothing about. It is even more vulnerable when you enter a space where others look like pros, and you are just trying to find your footing. It does not mean you get up and walk away. This is your reminder to turn inward when you get intimidated or insecure about what is outside of you. 

While we moved slowly during the class, I had no idea just how much my body would feel it afterward! It was like every muscle in my body was out to play. I had WORKED HARD, and I was deeply feeling so strong and courageous. I felt like I could do anything. It felt right. 

I am craving another session. Thankfully, I booked a few more out in the future, but with my busy schedule and the low availability of sessions, I had to book a week out for my next one. I am excited and ready. 

All of these wild ideas and dreams have crossed my mind. What if I teach Pilates one day for fun? How can I combine it with my work? So many exciting possibilities and questions about this path and this work. I do this often when I get introduced to new thrilling things. I hope I continue to maintain this same energy 10 sessions later! I am committed to myself.

Thank you to Club Pilates for awakening a lost excitement in me to put my health and well-being at the forefront!